Proverbs are Proverbs
Devotions for Growing Christians
Proverbs are Proverbs
Proverbs 22:6 - “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”
Many Christian parents have claimed Proverbs 22:6 as a wonderful promise for their children - a promise that their sons and daughters will be model Christian young people. Some Christian parents, however, have been disappointed - and even bitter towards God - when their kids turn out to be anything but model Christians. Some rebellious "Christian" teenagers have even gotten themselves into big trouble. What happened? Was God not true to His Word? Does He make exceptions to His promises? Did the parents claim a promise that really isn't a promise?
What’s the biblical answer to these upsetting questions?
When he is old?
Bible scholars suggest several different solutions for the "exceptions" to the promise of Proverbs 22:6, and there may some validity to all these solutions, depending on the home situation. For example, one approach is to place the emphasis of the verse on the word "old." A person who holds this view might say, "The proverb doesn’t guarantee that there will be no rebellion in the teens and twenties, but if you train up children in the right way, when they are old they will follow that good training. They may sow some wild oats in their younger years, but they’ll return to the `faith of the Fathers' blueprint later in their lives."
This idea looks reasonable at first, but there’s one major drawback: this solution doesn't always hold true! While many young rebels experience a happy turnaround, some stories do not have happy endings. Some children raised in Christian homes have self-destructed through substance abuse. Others have followed unprincipled and immoral lifestyles, sometimes living even more reprehensible lives than people who had no Christian upbringing. Some have willfully turned against God and become outspoken atheists - even turning others away from the Lord! And even when they are old, some don’t depart from their rebellious ways. The "when he is old" solution doesn’t hold true in every case.
Train up?
Another approach to resolving the apparent exceptions has been to focus attention on the words, "train up.” People who take this approach would say, "When you see an exception to the proverb, the reason is that you don’t really know what the ‘training’ was like. The home may have looked good from the outside, but what was home life really like? Maybe the family went to church every Sunday, but doesn’t mean good training went on at home. Discipline can be lax, family devotions rare, control of books and TV neglected, real communication virtually non-existent - and love between parents and children may unexpressed or minimal. The results aren’t exceptions to Proverbs 22:6 - they’re proof that those children weren’t really ‘trained up in the way they should go.’"
Again, this solution looks good, and may be the answer in some cases, but it doesn’t solve all the "exceptions" to Proverbs 22:6. There are many Christian parents who have been diligent and dedicated in training and raising their children well. They weren’t "Sunday Morning Only" Christians, and their homes weren’t just a Christian facade. These parents were men and women of God who carefully built Christ-centered homes, and they gave their children lots of love, but they’ve been sadly disappointed. The fact that some of their children departed from the faith can’t be blamed on the training. This solution doesn’t provide a satisfactory answer when young adults from fine Christian homes depart from the faith.
Develop their natural gifts?
A somewhat different approach to Proverbs 22:6 could be called the amoral or non-moral interpretation. This interpretation would say, "The proverb is not talking about the training of children as to moral and spiritual values, but rather the development of their natural abilities and interests. Children need help and direction in order to develop their God-given talents. If they’re trained in line with their abilities, they’ll reach their full potential in adult years. They’ll live fulfilled lives, and they will `not depart from the way they should go.'"
This interpretation has some merit, but it doesn't take a lot of insight to realize that there are exceptions to this point of view. Some children whose natural abilities and interests are developed (even by experts!) don’t follow this course throughout life. Limiting the proverb to natural talents doesn’t get us off the hook.
So while Proverbs 22:6 may be applied to the non-moral aspects of a child's upbringing, we can’t eliminate the spiritual and moral areas from the scope of this promise. Remember - throughout the book of Proverbs "the way a person should go" is the way of wisdom, and the way of wisdom is inseparable from moral and spiritual maturity. We must look further for the answer to why this proverb doesn’t always seem to hold true.
Proverbs are general truths, stated in general terms.
Appreciation for this fact is a tremendous help in understanding the promise of Proverbs 22:6. Remember: proverbs are general truths, and they are stated in general terms.
A proverb is not a precept.
A precept is a truth stated in absolute terms. For example, suppose I make statements about engineering students at a particular university. One statement might be, "A student must take and pass calculus in order to graduate as an engineer." There ae no exceptions, so that statement of truth is in precept form. But suppose I say, "Students who do well in calculus make better engineers." That is also a statement of truth, but it is in proverb form. It’s a general truth, stated in general terms.
But there may be some exceptions to that general statement of truth. There may be a few engineering graduates who are very good engineers, but they never did well in calculus - and there may be a few graduates who scored A+ in calculus, but aren’t very good engineers. These exceptions, however, do not make the statement false, because it is a general truth stated in general terms. So exceptions do not make a proverb false. Proverbs are proverbs - general truths stated in general terms.
Proverbs 22:6 is a proverb, so the occasional exception to the general truth does not make this proverb false!
Exceptions do not make this proverb false
A brief look at a few of the other proverbs in this chapter further demonstrates the nature of a proverb. For example, the statements of verses 4, 11 and 29 are not always binding. They are usually true, but no doubt you’ll be able to think of exceptions. Humility and the fear of the Lord do not always bring riches, honor and long life (v4). Rulers are not always friends with the gracious and pure of heart (v11). And there are skilled people who have remained in obscurity, never recognized by kings (v29).
Does this mean that we can expect some exceptions to all the Proverbs? What about the well-known promise of Proverbs 3:5-6: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and don't depend on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths." Are those statements more than a general truth? Can we claim them as promises - without exception? Yes, we can! Why? What's the difference between Proverbs 3:5-6, and Proverbs 22:6?
When is a proverb more than a “general truth”?
The truth of any proverb that is supported by other Scriptures that are not proverbs can be taken as more than a proverb. The promise in Proverbs 3:5-6 of direction in life when we depend on the Lord - that promise is without exception! It is more than a general truth, because it is stated explicitly in other Scriptures.
James 1:5 is a promise made to the believer who is walking by faith. "If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him." Here is the same basic truth of Proverbs 3:5-6 - but it is not in proverb form. Looking to God by faith and receiving wisdom for life's decisions is more than a general truth. It is without exception! The rest of Scripture shows that the general truths stated in many of the proverbs are more than general truths. So most of the time we’re on safe ground when we quote a proverb as an absolute truth, without exception.
However, the proverb that well-trained children will not depart from their good upbringing is a general truth that is not backed up explicitly by the rest of Scripture. Thus it is not an absolute truth, without exception. In fact, when the Apostle Paul alluded to Proverbs 22:6 in Ephesians 6:4, he didn’t include the "promise" part of the proverb. That’s significant! He simply stated that children are to be brought up "in the discipline and instruction of the Lord" - but he didn’t include an absolute guarantee of good results!
The good news of Proverbs 22:6, of course, is that there is a promise for parents. Christian parents shouldn’t be discouraged by the fact that this verse is a general truth, and it can’t be claimed as an absolute guarantee of salvation or righteous living. Parents who "train their children in the way they should go" can be confident that generally, and normally, and with very few exceptions, their disciplined efforts will be rewarded with the salvation and spiritual well-being of their children.
- Dave Reid