Comfort in the Midst of Guilt and Grief
Devotions for Growing Christians
Comfort in the Midst of Guilt and Grief
2 Samuel 12:13-14 - “Then David said to Nathan, “I have sinned against the LORD.” Nathan replied, “The LORD has taken away your sin. You are not going to die. But because by doing this you have made the enemies of the LORD show utter contempt, the son born to you will die.”
2 Samuel 12:22-23 - “He answered, “While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept. I thought, ‘Who knows? The LORD may be gracious to me and let the child live.’ But now that he is dead, why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me.”
2 Samuel 12:29 - So David mustered the entire army and went to Rabbah, and attacked and captured it.
Read all of 2 Samuel 11-12.
Hollywood loves Bible chapters like 2 Samuel 11! Events like King David’s sin of adultery with the beautiful Bathsheba, and his sin of calculated and cold-blooded murder of her loyal husband make for exciting and colorful movies. Of course, Hollywood movies would do everything possible to play up the sensuality, drama and intrigue. But from the divine perspective, 2 Samuel 11 is not an exciting chapter. It records a tragic transition point in David’’s life. From this point on, for the rest of his life, David suffered the scars and consequences of his terrible sins.
2 Samuel 12, however, is an encouraging chapter in several ways. After the prophet Nathan confronted him, David immediately confessed his sin. As a result, David was comforted in the assurance that his great sins were forgiven. And then we see God’s plan and purpose of restoration at work.
Because David’s sins had reflected disreputably on the Lord, God’s plan included severe discipline. Discipline is always part of God’s plan for restoring a sinner back to fellowship with Him. But even in the tragic death of David and Bathsheba’s child, David was comforted. God will comfort grieving parents today, and believers can be drawn closer to Him through the grieving process.
Near the end of the chapter, God’s grace is clearly seen in the birth of Solomon. What a comfort the birth of this child must have been to David and Bathsheba!
Let’s examine this chapter and learn how God can comfort and restore us in the midst of guilt and grief.
Background Notes
David did his best to cover up his sins, and he thought he had “gotten away with it” by marrying Bathsheba as soon as the mourning period for her murdered husband was over. But the sin was not hidden from the eyes of God. 2 Samuel 11:27 says, “the thing David had done displeased the Lord.”
Almost a year went by between chapters 11 and 12. If we didn’t have the book of Psalms, we might get the impression that David had covered up his sin so well that he had almost forgotten about it! But from the Psalms we learn that David’s conscience was overwhelmed with guilt. The disciplining hand of the Lord was heavy upon him. In Psalm 32:3-4 he wrote, “When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy upon me, and my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer.”
Psalm 51 is David’s psalm of confession, as we see from the title: “A Psalm of David, when Nathan the prophet came to him after David had committed adultery with Bathsheba.” Here are some of the lines from this psalm: “Have mercy on me O God, according to Your unfailing love, according to Your great compassion blot out my transgressions. Wash away all my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin. For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me. Against You, and You only, have I sinned, and done what is evil in Your sight” (v1-4). And, “Hide Your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquity. Create within me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me” (v 9-10). And, “Save me from bloodguilt, O God, the God who saves me, and my tongue will sing of Your righteousness” (v14).
So even before the prophet Nathan confronted David, God was working in David’s heart. He was overwhelmed with the realization of his blood guilt before a holy God. He knew that his sins were responsible for the separation between him and the Lord.
Doctrinal / Teaching Points
1. God comforts us in our guilt.
The prophet Nathan presented David with an account of a wealthy man who owned many sheep and cattle. But when a guest came to his home, the rich man took the one little lamb, a family pet, that belonged to a poor man - and killed it for a meal. Of course this story was a parable, but at first David believed it was a real situation, and he was outraged! His anger burned against the wealthy man who had stolen from a poor man, and he said to Nathan, “As surely as the Lord lives, the man who did this deserves to die!” (v5).
Little did David realize that he was passing judgment on himself, when he pronounced that the guilty man should make fourfold restitution! “He must pay for that lamb four times over, because he did such a thing - and had no pity” (v6). You can imagine David’s shock and horror when Nathan looked him straight in the eye and said: “You are the man!”
The good news is that David immediately took responsibility. He confessed his sin, and God graciously forgave him (v13-14). Think of the comfort that David must have experienced in the midst of overwhelming guilt when God declared that his sins were forgiven. And what a comforting truth for us! God comforts us when we confess our guilt.
However, the comfort of God never condones our sin, nor does it remove the consequences of our sin. Just as David had ordered fourfold restitution for the rich man’s sin, so there would be fourfold consequences to David’s forgiven sin.
Nathan outlined God’s fourfold discipline:
“You struck down Uriah the Hittite [Bathsheba’s husband] with the sword…Therefore, the sword will never depart from your house, because you despised Me and took the wife of Uriah to be your own” (v9-10). At least three of David’s sons, Amnon, Absalom and Adonijah, met violent deaths. See 2 Samuel 13 & 18, and 1 Kings 2.
“Out of your own household I am going to bring calamity upon you” (v11). In chapter 13 we read of the rape of David’s daughter Tamar by her half-brother Amnon, and the murder of Amnon by Tamar’s brother, Absalom. Later on, David’s son Absalom rebelled against his father, and attempted to usurp the throne of Israel (2 Samuel 15-18). And in 1 Kings 1, at the end of David’s life, yet another son attempted to take the throne that David had promised to Solomon.
“I will take your wives and give them to one who is close to you, and he will lie with your wives in broad daylight. You did it in secret, but I will do this thing in broad daylight before all Israel” (v11). During Absalom’s rebellion, David’s concubines were taken from his palace’s harem, and publicly violated on the roof of the royal palace (2 Samuel 16:21-22).
“Because by doing this you have made the enemies of the Lord show utter contempt, the son born to you will die” (v14). David had brought great and widespread disrepute upon the holy name of the Lord, the consequences in his life would be severe. The child born of David and Bathsheba’s adulterous relationship became ill, and despite David’s prayers and pleading, he died.
There are consequences to sin. Sometimes the consequences are agonizing, even when the sin has been forgiven. We cannot “sin in a vacuum.” Other people get hurt. There will always be bad fallout and ripple-down effects when we sin. For the rest of his life, David had to live with the consequences of his forgiven sin.
We, too, may suffer lifelong reminders of the sad, long-lasting consequences of our sins. But praise the Lord for the truth of 1 John 1:9! “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” No matter how big the sin, there is genuine and full forgiveness! This reality brings comfort - God’s comfort - to our guilt-ridden hearts.
2. God comforts us in our grief.
One of the consequences of David’s great sin was that the child conceived by his adultery would die. The Bible is not teaching that all children conceived out of wedlock will die, nor is the Bible teaching that we shouldn’t grieve the death of a child. But the fact that David was comforted after the child’s death is significant. It teaches us that God can and will comfort us in the midst of grief.
“David arose from the ground, washed, anointed himself, and changed his clothes; and he came into the house of the Lord and worshiped. Then he came to his own house, and when he requested, they set food before him and he ate” (v20). When David’s servants asked him about his actions, which seemed inconsistent to them, he responded, ”While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept; for I said, ‘Who knows, the Lord may be gracious to me, that the child may live.’ But now he has died; why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he will not return to me” (v22-23).
What did David mean when he said, “I shall go to him”? Does this biblical text teach that children who die before an “age of accountability” go to Heaven? In the context, David may simply mean that he would eventually join the child in death. However, in Psalm 23 David was confident that when he died he would “dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” And so when David said that he would go to the child, he likely meant that he looked forward to joining the child in “the house of the Lord.” So this verse indicates that children who die at a very young age are part of the elect company of believers, and are in Heaven.
This position is certainly supported by our Lord’s statement in Matthew 19:14 about young children, that “of such is the kingdom of heaven.” The work of Christ on the cross was sufficient, and provided for the sin of all the world. Thus God can take unborn children, infants, and young children safely to Heaven on the basis of the redemptive work of Jesus.
Nowhere in Scripture is anyone damned for ignorance! At the same time, Romans 1 makes it clear that no one with rational capability is ignorant. But babies and very young children are not yet capable of making rational decisions. Thus 2 Samuel 12:23 may support the teaching that, by God’s grace and love, babies and very young children are covered by the redeeming blood of Christ.
This chapter teaches us that God will comfort us in all our troubles - and that certainly includes our grief after the death of a loved one. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 says that the God of all comfort can comfort us in “all our afflictions.”
The word “afflictions” refers to anything which presses in on our spirits - and grief certainly falls into that category. And there is no exception made about what may cause our grief. So even in cases where we are totally at fault, and the grief is the result of our own mistakes or sin - or even part of God’s discipline - God can - and will - comfort us in our grief, if we turn to Him.
Practical Application
You’ve got to move on!
After Nathan confronted him, and he repented for his terrible sins, David didn’t do anything drastic or dramatic. He didn’t commit suicide. He didn’t leave the throne. He didn’t continue to lie on the floor in grief. He didn’t do anything desperate, as his servants had feared (v18). He bathed, dressed in clean clothing and worshiped the Lord. He prepared to resume his workload as king by eating a meal.
David moved on: in his marriage with Bathsheba, in his job as king of Israel, and in his victories over Israel’s enemies (v23-31). He moved on with fulfilling the responsibilities God had given him. He had been chastened by the heavy hand of the Lord, he had fasted and prayed, he had responded to the discipline of the Lord through the prophet Nathan, he had confessed his sin, he had taken the responsibility for his awful actions, and he had been restored to fellowship with the Lord.
In the midst of guilt and grief, David received the comfort that only God can give. Even though David would continue to face the consequences of his forgiven sin for the rest of his life, God was picking up the pieces - including the birth of a son, Solomon, by his wife Bathsheba.
So what can we learn from this? After sin is confessed and forgiven, we’ve got to move on! If you have sinned, don’t live the rest of your life in guilt or despair. Don’t feel you can never be useful to God again.
Confess your sin. Acknowledge your guilt before God. Ask for forgiveness. Make reparation to anyone your sin has harmed, if that is possible. Get restored to fellowship with the Lord. Respond to the comfort of God in the midst of your guilt and grief. Accept and face the consequences of your forgiven sin. And let the Lord pick up the broken pieces and put your life back together!
Don’t live in the guilt and grief of the past. Don’t continue to rehash painful and harrowing memories. You’ve got to move on! Yes, scars remain, even from forgiven sin, but you must move on with the responsibilities God has given you.
And you can do it - because God’s comfort is available in the midst of guilt and grief.
- Dave Reid