A Broken Marriage is a Broken Picture

Devotions for Growing Christians

A Broken Marriage is a Broken Picture

“For better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part." 

These “old fashioned” vows don't carry as much weight in society as they used to.  The mindset these days often sounds more like, "Let’s give marriage a try.  If things don't work out, we can always get a divorce."  Personal happiness has become the priority, and if both partners agree, then a divorce seems like a logical thing to do.  Why “grind it out” for years in an unhappy marriage?  Wouldn’t divorce be better than remaining unfulfilled and miserable for years to come?

This view of marriage and divorce may sound reasonable in our culture, but it's definitely contrary to the Word of God.  Christians must be extremely careful not to become caught up in the secular culture’s way of thinking.  When we consider marriage, we need to remember that the Bible is clear that it’s meant to be a lifetime commitment. 

Malachi 2:16 gives us strong and clear words from God on the subject:  "I hate divorce, says the Lord.”  It’s significant that this verse comes to us from Malachi, a book that was written at the close of the Old Testament period (about 400 years before the birth of Jesus Christ).  Even though divorce did occur in Israel by this time, God had not "lowered" or changed His standard with the passing of time.  God gave His concept of marriage when He brought the first man and woman together in the beginning.  God declared that "a man… shall be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh" (Genesis 2:24).  And Jesus said that no one is to separate what God has joined together (Matthew 19:5-6).  

Divorce among the Israelites began as early as the days of Moses.  Most likely they picked up the idea during their long stay in Egypt, where divorce was prevalent.  The Law of Moses did permit divorce under some circumstances (Deuteronomy 24:1-4), but this was not part of the original divine design.  In fact, when Jesus was questioned about this section of the Law, He made a clear statement:  "It was not what God had originally intended" (Matthew 19:7-9).  Divorce breaks the “one flesh” bond.  It has never been approved by God - before the Law, under the Law, or under Grace.  The sins that God forgives, in His grace, don't become any less sin than they were from the beginning.  

Why does God hate divorce?  

Divorce distorts the truth that God wants to convey through marriage.  God didn’t establish marriage just for companionship and propagation.  It was established to model the relationship between God and His people.  It’s an example of the constant love, care and forgiveness that God extends to us on a permanent basis. 

In Ephesians 5:22-33 husbands and wives are commanded to reflect the love relationship that exists between Christ and His Church (v22-29).  Our permanent relationship with Christ is to be portrayed in the permanent union marriage (v30-31).  What a mind-blowing revelation!     

A broken marriage shatters the picture of the wonderful and beautiful love relationship between Christ and His Church.  When problems develop in a marriage, every effort should be made to restore the love relationship.  These efforts can even become part of the biblical picture.  Jesus works on our relationship by continually loving, forgiving, and restoring His Church.  Working marriages can reflect this dynamic relationship, but divorce can never mirror the on-going relationship between believers and the Lord. 

For this reason, even in the case of infidelity within a marriage, the ideal solution would be forgiveness rather than divorce. (Read the book of Hosea.)  Yes, divorce is permitted for the faithful partner (Matthew 19:9), but it’s not a mandate.  Restoration and reconciliation provide a far better picture of God’s relationship with His people.  Praise God that He doesn't opt for divorce every time we are unfaithful to Him! 

"But is it worth it?" some Christians may ask.  "Why shouldn't I get a divorce?  God's beautiful picture will be tarnished, but my marriage isn't a beautiful picture anyway.”  Or, “Our marriage was a big mistake, and divorce is better than years of future unhappiness."  Or, "I'll just be one of many forgiven divorcees in Heaven.”  These comments may contain a certain logic.  Yes, we all make mistakes, but equating "mistakes" with deliberately separating "what God has joined together" is shallow thinking. 

Christians will never find true fulfillment in this life if they deliberately and/or selfishly go directly against God’s will and sever a divinely-created bond.  We want to remain in fellowship with Christ so that when He returns, we will be “full of courage and not shrink back from him in shame” (1 John 2:28).  God’s pleasure and our joy in eternity should be more important to us than our earthly pleasure, and our actions should not bring pain to the One who unselfishly gave His life on our behalf.  

If you’re not married yet, don’t let this sour your thoughts about a happy future.  Since marriage is such an important topic for God, we can be sure that He’s very concerned with helping us choose the person we marry.  Don't rush.  Wait on God for His choice.  “Do not depend on your own understanding.  Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take” (Proverbs 3:5-6).  

If you’re in a struggling marriage right now, remember that we believe in a God of miracles.  If He can heal a diseased body, He can heal a troubled marriage.  He can even give you a new and deeper love that was never there before!  Working at marriage is not easy, especially when divorce is convenient and even encouraged in our culture, but God will be honored and you can be a wonderful witness to His grace and power.   

Paul told Timothy that  a time would come when many Christians will “no longer listen to sound and wholesome teaching.  They will follow their own desires” (2 Timothy 4:3).  Many Christians have lowered their standards on marriage as taught by our Lord Himself.  Paul challenged Timothy to endure sound doctrine - as well as hardship!  Growing Christians are challenged to submit to the Word of God’s teaching and God’s beautiful picture of marriage.

- Dave Reid

(Updated 2021, Ron Reid)